Here’s a question: Aren’t baby showers just the weirdest tradition?
Firstly, I question the timing of it all. Why would you throw a party for a heavily pregnant woman, who is uncomfortable, probably quite anxious and maybe going through some hectic hormone swings? It just seems that you are stacking the deck against you there. No wonder we’ve heard horror stories of teary moms-to-be (or moms) who lose their cool at their baby showers because it “wasn’t what she wanted”.
I think the party should happen after the baby arrives, and actually, it shouldn’t be a party. It should just a be a bunch of people bringing a pack of nappies, who are constantly telling the mom she’s great while they hold the baby and clean the place up. If they want to rub the mom’s feet while they are there, it wouldn’t hurt. A cup of tea would be great too.
After all, the first few weeks after the baby arrives can be the toughest, emotionally and physically – and that’s when we need the village to arrive en masse.
Of course, moms-to-be also have to get over the idea of allowing people into your messy house while you look and feel your worse. We all need to get better at accepting the village’s non-judgmental help – if it exists.
Unfortunately, men are even worse in this regards. I don’t understand why, in this modern age, baby showers are still an exclusively women affair. Sure, we want men to be involved, present and engaged parents… except when we celebrate the impending arrival of his child?
It makes no sense.
So, the second thing I would suggest is that we make all baby showers, whenever they are held, a celebration of all the members of the family: mom, dad and siblings. After all, their lives are all going to change soon.
And I definitely think that older men and fathers need to be as supportive as in the way I described earlier. The village can’t just be a collection of caring women doing the hard work. That’s just ridiculous. The guys need to dig in too, with words of encouragement, doing the housework, and, of course, making some tea.