13 Jul Telling People | Month 4
At some point during a pregnancy, you might feel the urge to tell people about it. I know that, traditionally, that only happens after the first trimester – but that always seemed a bit silly to me. Now I’m not saying that you should go and reveal the news to the person who sat next to you in school 20 years ago – but I do think it’s valuable to let some close people know about it early on. (That being said, you might be very close to the person who sat next to you in school 20 years ago, so definitely include him or her… even though that is a little bit weird).
Firstly, telling people who love you and care for you that you are going to have a baby is a very exciting moment. Who told my mom on Christmas Day, by giving her a bunch of framed photos of us and our first son. But instead of a photo, one frame had a piece of paper with “Grandson Coming Soon – August 2015” written on it.
It took her a few moments to work out what was going on, but the joy on her face when she clicked is actually quite indescribable. Same goes for my brother and sister, who looked over her shoulder to figure out what the hell we gave our mom that would render her speechless.
It was a wonderful moment.
We weren’t ready to tell the world just yet, but we felt that it was important to have the support of those closest to us. I understand why many people want to wait until they are through the “dangerous” first trimester. They don’t want to build up expectations, and if anything goes wrong, they don’t want to go through painful conversations over and over again when people ask, “How’s the pregnancy going?” or “When are you due?”.
But here’s the thing – if anything does go wrong, that is the moment you will need your people around you. People who won’t ask difficult questions, but who will love you and care for you – and maybe even act as a buffer between you and the rest of the world for a while. It’s also great to have people whose opinion and knowledge you trust as you navigate those early days. The whole pregnancy is a physically and emotionally taxing time for both mom and dad (especially if they have a young kiddo already) but you can take much of the strain off you by making good choices in those early days. Do it that, you need the right advice and support.
Of course, you can get a lot of the advice and connections you need from websites and online forums – but there is something about sitting down with someone who is willing to guide you, and more importantly: listen to your complaints, that is incredibly comforting.
So – don’t hold back. Find your inner circle, let them in on the “secret” and hopefully, you will find all the support you need!